Disclaimer
I am not a lawyer. This is not legal advice. This is for educational purposes only. The very minimal sections taken from this contract are being used under the Fair Use Act, which covers criticism, commentary, and educational uses of written work.
If the agency whose contract is sampled in this post wishes the samples to be taken down (and replaced with re-written summaries), please use our contact form, verify your identity and ownership of this agency, and we’ll take the images down immediately.
Predatory Contracts – Serfdom
Have you ever dreamed of being a serf? Have you ever sat around your apartment, looking at your knit blankets and your big flatscreen TV and gone, “man, I wish we could bring serfdom back, those were the best times.”
Oh, me too. I dream of threshing fields. The dick fields.
There was an agency that would help you live that dick field serfdom life. Unfortunately, they no longer seem to exist. I know, I’m sad too. Now, let’s look at this idiot contract because I cannot believe that someone actually wrote this and thought it was… fine? Somehow?
“Allison,” you say, “what’s wrong with this? Why even show this to me? You’ve lost your marbles, you’ve spent too many days in the hot sun of the dick fields with your dick thresher.”
“Ah,” I say, wisely, on my mount. “Look again.”
And you look. And you see… that the model is labeled a contractor. That’s right, in this agreement the model is an independent contractor. And, as a contractor, they have certain obligations.
(Oh, don’t worry, Exhibit A is coming.)
First step as a contractor at this agency: give them your content. (Fair.)
Second step: give up control over your OnlyFans account. (On a practical level, this means that you no longer have the password and, if you do, you are not the person who has access to the email linked to the account–you know, where you would change your password, the payment information, etc.)
This is one of those things that you find in agency contracts where the model is not the one receiving payment directly from the site, the agency is and then is paying out the model. Which is insane.
Okay, okay, so hear me out: maybe people creating content for their own fan pages and social media should own their content.
But also this is where it gets weird(er). Because when you look at how this is phrased, the words they’re using, it’s deeply shitty. The agency is the client the model is the worker. They’re not even an employee (then they’d be allowed benefits, dear god), they’re a contractor. They are there to make and deliver product (content) with their bodies, and that product then becomes property of the agency.
(This image is here solely so I can say: Proof that there are incompetent shitheads in Canada. I didn’t think there were–I thought Canada was the last bastion of sanity in this rapidly declining experiment of a world, but this now-defunct agency has proven me wrong.) (I swear I am more upbeat than this most of the time but JESUS this whole agency mini-industry upsets me.)
The contractor cannot shit-talk the agency. (Notice this is a one-way disparagement clause. Guys, if you learn anything from me ranting about this particular contract, please let it be that anything like a non-disparagement clause or ethics clause or violation of contract clause should be two-way with equal penalties.)
The first time I read this clause, I burst out laughing. What I imagine is that this contract was written on a napkin in a bar by some kid who had just flunked out of college, like 23-years-old, max. He’s drunk, scrolling on YouTube, lookin’ at all those aw yiss hot bitches and then somehow his algo spits out one of those “how to start an OnlyFans Management Agency in ten minutes” videos (go look, it’s insane) as a recommendation and he watches it and is like “FUCK COLLEGE, I’M GETTIN’ HOT BITCHES AND MONEYYYYY” and he sketches out this contract and then feeds it to ChatGPT and ChatGPT gives him like twelve pages of legalese and he’s like “nah bro, that’s too much to read” so he just goes with the napkin.
Can you imagine? You’re an adult creator. You’ve decided to take this huge step with your life, knowing that you’re risking social stigma, having a PayPal, having stalkers, being doxxed, having a weird-ass dating life where your partner is very likely to say some version of “if you really loved me, why are you showing YOUR FILTHY HOLES TO OTHER MEN!?!?!?!?!” and then you get this agency and they’re like…
“Uh, yes, we need you to clock in at 9AM on the dot, don’t be late to putting your own vagina on blast.”
Okay, I promised you Exhibit A was coming.
This hot-ass mess. WHO WROTE THIS? It certainly wasn’t a lawyer. The first one is for the model/contractor. The second one? The third one? The fourth one? This is a goddamned job posting, and they’ve conflated it with the services the model is supposed to provide WITHOUT EVER SAYING WHAT THE MODEL IS TASKED WITH DOING.
I can’t even. I could never even. My cats couldn’t even with this. This is embarrassing. I am suffering from second-hand embarrassment.
If you are thinking of starting an OnlyFans Management Agency, hire a lawyer to draft your contracts. Do not write a barely coherent contract that you will then give to the people who should be your customers and call them freaking contractors.
Fie, to the dick fields with you!
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